24 Bengali Wedding Rituals: A Comprehesive Guide
India has a rich history of culture and traditions that have been followed for centuries. The land of India celebrates weddings like a festival that continues for days and includes heavy preparation. Unlike many other countries, India has a different culture in different regions, and the customs and traditions change according to the region and even family. Bengali weddings are unique in culture and follow thousand-year-old customary practices. From the wedding dresses to food and rituals, everything in Bengali weddings is rare and that’s what makes it exclusively charismatic.
In this blog, we are covering Bengali wedding rituals, from pre to post-wedding ceremonies, and their religious and spiritual significance. Some of these rituals may differ from one family to another, however, most remain the same.
Bengali Pre-Wedding Rituals
Right from the Adan Pradan ceremony, the Bengali rituals before marriage begin. Here are a few frequently observed as well as some notably distinct pre-wedding rituals in Bengali weddings. Let’s explore their names and significance in detail.
1. Adan Pradan
The Bengali wedding starts with the ritual of Adan Pradan, where the family of the bride and the groom meet and finalize the date of the wedding according to the Hindu wedding saya date for marriage (muhuratam). The priest is called and he sees the horoscope and the birth chart and announces the date of marriage. It is usually private, except for close members of the family, no one is present.
2. Aashirbaad/Blessings
One of the significant and foremost Bengali pre-wedding rituals is the Aashirbaad ceremony. Once the wedding date is finalized, the Aashirbaad ceremony takes place where the bride and the groom are showered with the blessings of the elders of both families. Both sides bless them with jewelry, clothes, sweets, cash, and gifts.
3. Aiburo-bhaat
Aiburo-bhaat is quite like a bachelor party where the bride and the groom enjoy their final meals as singles. The party is hosted by their friends and close relatives at their home a few days before the wedding day and the meals are cooked and served to them as good luck for their married life.
4. Nitbor & Nitkone
In Bengali culture, there is a unique ritual of “Nitbor” and “Nitkone”. The groom is accompanied by a young boy known as “Nitbor” from the aiburo-bhaat till the wedding ceremony.
Similarly, the bride is accompanied by a young girl known as “Nitkone” from the aiburo-bhaat to the wedding ceremony. Although the religious and spiritual significance of the ritual is still unknown, the ritual adds joy to the marriage celebration.
5. Shankha-Pola
Shankha-Pola is one of the most important Bengali wedding rituals for bride where the priest chants mantras while the married women of the family adorn the hands of the bride with ‘Sankha’ and ‘Pola’ bangles. ‘Sankha,’ symbolizes the moon, while ‘Pola,’ represents good health and fertility. While the ‘Sankha’ is made of the conch shell, ‘Pola’ is made from red coral. Bengali brides must wear ‘Sankha Pola’ before their wedding day.
6. Ganga Nimantran
Yet another important Bengali ritual is ‘Ganga Nimantran’, which every family of the wedding couple follows. The married women in the family visit the banks of the nearby Ganga river to ask for the blessings of the sacred river for the married couple. It is usually performed on the morning of the wedding day and the women worship the Ganga river with Sindoor (vermilion), betel leaves, nuts, and bananas.
7. Dodhi Mangal
On the wedding day, after the women of the family come back from the procession to the Ganga river, the bride and the groom’s mother prepare a pudding of rice and yogurt and serve them. This is the only thing they eat until the wedding.
8. Nandi Mukh
This ritual involves paying homage to the ancestors. Both the bride and the groom sit with the eldest male member of their respective families and perform the ceremony. The priest completes the Vedic ritual and seeks the couple’s happiness and long married life.
9. Gaye Holud
This ceremony, just like the Haldi ceremony is a vibrant part of the Bengali marriage ceremony. The groom is applied with turmeric paste which is then sent to the bride’s house to be applied on her. Then, they bathe with the holy water of Ganga which was brought home in the Ganga Nimantran ceremony.
Bengali Wedding Rituals
Once the Bengali pre-wedding rituals are over, the bride and the groom proceed to the marriage ceremony. These are the wedding rituals performed in Bengali marriage ceremony.
10. Dorpon
Before the groom takes the wedding procession to the bride’s home or the wedding venue, which is nowadays banquet halls, the groom’s mother gifts him with the Dorpon, which is believed to protect him from evil forces. She then ties red thread (Mauli) and a Tulsi mala around his neck and blesses him for his new journey.
11. Bor Boron
It is another traditional Bengali wedding ritual where the groom reaches the wedding venue and is welcomed by his to-be mother-in-law. She carries out the Chhele Boron ceremony (welcoming the groom) by offering sweets and water, while the others play the sacred Conch shell and perform Ulludhwani.
12. Bastra Dan/Patta Bastra
Following this, the bride’s father presents the groom with Bostro (new clothes) and Angti (a gold ring), which he is to wear during the wedding. Then the groom changes into the wedding attire and proceeds to the next ceremony.
13. Saat Paak & Subho Drishti
The Bengali wedding rituals start as the bride is brought to the wedding altar or the chhadnatola (in Bengali) on a low wooden stool or Peerhi, held by her brothers. She covers her face with a betel leaf while she is taken around the groom in seven circles. After the seventh circle, she moves the betel leaf away and the bride and the groom look at each other for the first time on the wedding day.
14. Mala Bodol/Exchange of Garlands
It is one of the fun-filled Bengali wedding rituals after Subho Drishti. Mala Bodol or the exchange of garlands ritual represents acceptance, love, and respect for each other. The bride’s brothers lift the bride high making it difficult for the groom to put the garland on the bride’s neck. The same happens on the groom’s turn. In Bengali weddings, the garlands are exchanged thrice.
15. Sampradan or Kanyadaan
The wedding is an emotional occasion and the most emotional moment is when the bride’s father hands over her hand to the groom, for eternity. Sampradaan or Kanyadaan represents trust and family blessings in handing over their daughter to the man who will now take care of her as his responsibility.
16. Yagna
The would-be couple sat next to each other in front of the sacred fire and the priest recited Vedic Mantra to solemnize their marriage.
17. Saptapadi
This is the next Bengali wedding ritual which involves tying the groom’s uttariya with the pride’s pallu. They, then take seven vows, each with a circle around the wedding pyre, making promises of supporting each other during happiness and sorrow. This ceremony is the Bengali version of “Saath Phere.” The holy knot symbolizes the strong bond of the couple and the new beginning of their married life.
18. Anjali/Onjoli
In the Anjali/Onjoli ritual, puffed rice is offered to the sacred fire. The bride’s brother hands her the puffed rice while the groom holds the bride’s hands from behind. They slowly pour the offering into the Yagna fire.
19. Sindoor Daan
The marriage rituals conclude with Sindoordaan. The groom smears vermilion or sindoor on the hair parting of the bride with a ring, a Dorpon, or a small cane box. Instantly, the bride’s head and face are covered with a new saree, known as lajja-bastra, offered to her by the groom’s family. The priest announces the bride and the groom as the couple and asks to seek the blessings of the elders.
After the marriage is completed, the couple moves forward to Bengali post-wedding rituals, after which they can begin their married life.
20. Bashor Jaaga
After the wedding is completed, the post-wedding rituals begin with Bashor Jagga. The newlyweds have dinner with their close relatives. Next, they enter a room called bashor ghor, where the bride’s sisters guard the door and ask for money from their new brother-in-law in exchange for entering the room.
After settling the amount, the couple is taken inside the room, where the interactive session begins. This is followed by cultural activities such as singing songs, playing games, complimenting the couple, etc. In this traditional Bengali wedding ceremony, sleeping throughout the night is deemed inauspicious.
21. Biday/Farewell
The Biday or the farewell ceremony is an emotional moment when the bride bids farewell to her family. The couple seeks the blessings of the elders and throws rice on her shoulders on the pallu of her mother’s saree.
22. Badhu Boron
As the couple arrives at the doorstep of her new house, her mother-in-law welcomes her with an aarti and she needs to step on a vessel filled with milk and alta. She steps in the house leaving her foot marks on a white cloth, symbolizing the entry of Goddess Lakshmi into the house.
23. Kaal Ratri
After the bride enters the house, the newlyweds seek blessings from all the elders and receive gifts from them. Once the ceremony ends, the couple are separated for the night, where they can’t even see each other. This is also unique to Bengali tradition which is known as Kaal Ratri.
24. Bhat Kapod & Bou Bhat
Bhat Kapod is a Bengali custom in which the groom hands the bride a new saree, sindoor, and a plate of food and promises that she is his responsibility and that he will take complete care of her.
Then, the bride offers payesh (kheer) or ghee rice to all family members. Later, in the evening, a grand celebration takes place. The new couple is introduced to the guests and seeks blessings and gifts from them. This is just like a reception party.
Bengali Wedding at The Vivvan, Karnal
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